PTSD – My Experience

PTSD – Post-traumatic stress disorder.

PTSD is a is an anxiety disorder caused by very stressful, frightening or distressing events. Someone with PTSD often relives the traumatic event through nightmares and flashbacks and may experience feelings of isolation, irritability and guilt.

My Experience

My story starts about 6 months ago, I was involved in a pretty bad car crash. I passed my driving test on June 30th, I was 19 at the time. I was heading into the work when the crash happened, I honestly didn’t know what was going to happen. The lady was on my side of the road and hit me. It changed my life.

The worst part was the emotional trauma. No one can see how I’m really feeling on the inside, I stand and joke about it but it kills me inside. I got told to get in a car straight away so it didn’t affect my confidence, so I did, I got in a car the next day, however, my confidence was knocked massively. I don’t drive as much as I used to if I’m honest I have to have someone in the car with me if I’m driving at night, I can’t stand it anymore.

So what does PTSD feel like? I don’t feel it all the time when I’m at home now, it’s just a distant memory. At first, I would close my eyes and have flashbacks of the crash and it gave me many sleepless nights. I now panic when I see someone just over the white line and shout and say “get back on your own side of the road” and I panic when I see a car travelling to fast behind me. I have my good days and bad days when driving, sometimes I just forget about the whole thing and just drive like nothing has happened, but sometimes my foot feels like its constantly over the brake pedal.

Over time I will slowly get better and not panic as much whilst driving, but it just takes time.

Everything heals over time.

 

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13 thoughts on “PTSD – My Experience

  1. First of all; I’m sorry that this happened to you, secondly; I’m so thankful someone understands! I was in a car accident at the end of July which just so happened to be on our road (we live on a small country road). It was a bit like your life flashing infront of your eyes sort of thing; my boyfriend was driving at the time and all I can remember is looking up and seeing a car driving at speed towards me. Everytime we meet a car / or I meet a car on my own – my reflex is to gasp because that’s what I did the night of our accident.

    Everyone was hounding me to get in the car and drive again afterwards and I hated it. I hate driving and I’ve definitely been left with a bit of anxiety because of it. Cars are scary, but it’s scarier when it’s not you in the wrong and it’s someone else. I count my blessings that I was able to even get out of the car after the state it was left in. I hope you weren’t too badly injured! & that you can get some closure soon, driving is scary but it has to be done x

    http://www.sheintheknow.co.uk

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh gosh. This sounds awful, I’m so sorry that happened to you! It’s good you’re driving again but it sounds really difficult. It will get better, it’s just going to take time. It’s a big knock to your confidence

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Such a powerful post. I’m so sorry this happened to you, but I’m so glad you’re okay, physically at least.

    PTSD is such a difficult thing to live with. I don’t have it personally but one of my closest friends has it from being in Afghan and it effects him so much, but he refuses to acknowledge it which causes him so many problems.

    It’s such a huge step for you to write this post and acknowledge you have this disorder because it means you can work on it.

    I’m so proud of you. ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I’m glad you shared this story. You are not alone. I hope you will overcome this soon. This happened to me as well and I’m still having a hard time feeling comfortable behind the wheel. I would try playing some music that you like and maybe you won’t think about it as much. I’m sorry you had to go through this. Accidents happen do not beat yourself up over it.

    Like

  5. So sorry you got into an accident!! I can relate so much to this. I was run off the road by a semi-truck and ended up flipping 1.5 times, meaning we landed upside down. Changed my life! I have 2 tattoos because of it. I am like you, in the fact that I still have good and bad days. I hate riding as a passenger and hate driving next to big trucks now! As you said though it does get better with time.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. This must have been terrifying for you, such a hard thing to deal with. PTSD needs more awareness, overtime I am sure you will be able to work on your anxieties- but it will take TIME. Cut yourself some slack and remember that even a small amount of progress, is still progress xxx

    Liked by 1 person

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